Fortheloveofjoyblog described what IVF is perfectly. Please continue to read,

“What the heck is invitro-fertilization or better known as IVF? In the 80’s, this treatment was known as “test tube babies”. This is a unique fertility treatment that we couples are afford these days to {hopefully} grow our families. It is the most expensive treatment available to us and is also the most invasive. Double bummer. But, the good news is that it also has the highest success rates of any treatment.

In a nutshell, IVF is when eggs are retrieved from a woman and sperm from a man. A blind date is arranged for them at the laboratory and they have a private table all to themselves in a petri dish. Their date lasts a few days to allow for embryo creation and growth. Some of the eggs and embryos are of good quality and can be used. Others naturally die if something is a bit off with them.

This happens in nature, too. As some articles suggest, over the course of an embryo growing and maturing, if something is amiss, our body’s natural response is to rid itself of that embryo leading to a miscarriage. Things being amiss can be genetic dysfunctions, egg or sperm quality, uterine condition/environment, general inadequacies in our body condition, etc. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. God was very specific in the details of Him forming our bodies and their functions, amen?!?!

Once the embryos are mature enough for transfer, one of two things can happen. The first is that they can be immediately transferred into the uterus. This is called a fresh embryo transfer. The second option would be to freeze them all as is and complete a transfer later. So, basically, the embryos are prepped and ready to go for whenever the couple is ready.

IVF with a fresh embryo transfer has a success rate of 40-50% and frozen embryo transfers, or FET, have a 50-60% success rate. For some reason, transfers are less traumatic for frozen embryos. They tend to work a little better that way.

The IVF protocol can vary from patient to patient. Some do fresh embryo transfers and some FET. Some take more meds and some less. Some have more than one egg retrieval. There are so many variables that are exclusive to each couple’s journey.“


Now that we all have an idea of what IVF is, for the first time EVER, I’ll share a little more on why I’m writing about it.

I’ve been asked COUNTLESS times

“when are you going to have kids?!”

Just the thought of children makes me SO GIDDY. I want a BIG family!

I never ever mind this question, but my answer is always similar…. “We’re just enjoying each other right now”

Now, if you don’t know me, you wouldn’t know I have a 16 year old bonus son. He is a beautiful red head with a heart of gold. SO I do have kids, but in a non-traditional way. (Go bonus moms & dads! You rock!)

Goodness gracious….

I wish this was easier to talk about…

I wish I was more open about it… but honestly..

I’m so scared.

I’m so scared of the unknown.

Sometimes I feel so scared that I ignore it and pretend like it’s not real. Being fearful of this situation comes from lack of knowledge and faith. But I just can’t help it.

What scares me the most is beginning our journey, failing, and never meeting our own lil Kris or Chad. Never watching them play soccer. Never knowing if they’d be tan, like momma or fair skinned, like daddy. Never hearing them speak Spanglish.

This tears my heart apart.

Side Note: I am okay. This blog post isn’t an invite to message me about how sorry you are, so please please refrain from saying “I’m sorry”

I will accept any messages, but those. (I’m saying this so kindly, I LOVE YOU.)

Anyway, IVF is so expensive and you could potentially FAIL. IVF changes your body and I don’t know if I am mentally ready for it. IVF can take a toll on my marriage and I am so fearful of it.

Chad and I aren’t ready to begin that journey… but I wanted to share my story so far and say if you’re going through this… you ARE NOT alone.

Right now, I have a bonus teenager who loves to eat sweets with me and play basketball. I have the opportunity to adopt if that is our calling. I have a beautiful life and I know God’s got me.

On this Mother’s Day I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, bonus moms, single moms, and dads who act as moms!

No matter what you’re journey to motherhood is, embrace and trust your journey.

God’s got you.

Now go be great.

I believe in you.




God’s got you

Kris Claborn